I know this is a rare thing to say but AMEN for Monday. I'm so glad to be starting a new week and to just grow in God.
Last week was troubling for me. I felt like I was stuck, like I was learning and growing but stumbling a lot along the way. Satan was having a field day and it was getting kind of tough to cling to God.
I thought God was mad at me, disappointed that I wasn't having the best season (week). I stopped relying on prayer or would be worried while I prayed and just even dreaded praying because I thought God had turned His back.
And then I was walking back from class on Friday and trying to get some prayer time in while I walked in the midst of the beautiful weather and the Holy Spirit gave me a "Holy Slap-In-The-Face".
"How dare I think of God as anything less than He is... Perfect. Why do I not take His Word for what it is? It says He will never forsake me, that I am His treasure, that His patience and mercy are as high as the Heavens? Why am I sitting here trying to make my own image of God and just not once and for all accept God for Who He is?"
I tend to box up my Heavenly Father as my earthly one. I think God is up there keeping a tally and when I am good, He will reward me, and when I am bad, He will punish me, but here's the thing, God says our righteous acts are like filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6), so that sounds pretty discouraging when you think about it but then when you truly meditate one what that means, it's the most amazing thing, because we never deserved or could earn one blessing, eternal life, love, grace, patience, or whatever else God has given us.
So how could I ever think of God being anything less than good when He has already done so much for me and I never deserved anything?
He gave me a new heart, He continuously transforms my mind, He gave me an amazing physical and spiritual family, He has blessed me with earthly possessions and good health, and on top of all that, He has given me eternal life?! Like how selfless is that? On top of eternal life, I get blessings too! I don't know anyone who would do all that for me, especially when I denied Him for so long.
I continuously have to remind myself of God's character. I have been studying out His character for a while now. I think that is a study that could go on for my entire life, since God's thoughts and ways don't match up to any of my own, but if I seek Him and His Righteousness, I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).
God never hides, He is always waiting to be found. I kind of see it as a life long game of hide and seek. We are both the "hider" and the "seeker" while God remains in the same spot every round.