So remember when I said I was going to get personal with yall in Genesis, well here comes the TMI.
It just has been one of those beginning of the weeks where you look back and you're so disappointed in yourself because as many "commitments" or "changes" you wanted to make for yourself or to better you and God's relationship, and they just aren't progressing.... Worst of all, they keep getting harder to tackle.
From the little stuff to the big stuff it's like Satan keeps beating me and laughs every time I hit the ground, mess up, sin, or whatever the case may be. I have been dealing a lot with pride, arrogance, jealousy, self righteousness, and selfishness these past few weeks. Not wanting to be happy for others, thinking the things I do are better, wanting to get the last word and prove my point (when I ended up being wrong. Ugh. There God goes humbling me out big time), and just struggling to keep my mind on the eternal things like I talked about in this weeks previous post.
I, along with most of the female population, struggle with *ladies and gentlemen*...... Perfection. I have this ideal image I want of myself, on the inside and out and in regards to actions and other emotions. When I fail at this perfect image of myself (and of course I do every time), I think that I'm not even good enough to approach the Throne of God. Satan lies and tells me that God is mad at me, that He desires perfection because He is perfection and you will never be perfect enough.
And then I remember what a sister in Christ told me whenever Satan tries to bring her down. She said "Yup... You're right, I do fall short, everyday I fall short, I will never have everything checked off my list, I will deal with sin until the day I die, and I will mess up, and the Bible clearly says that I will too.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23"
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23"
If I ever claim a day in my life that I didn't sin that day I would be a liar and whatever Jesus did on the cross for me would mean absolutely nothing. Come to the realization that you will never be good enough, but you don't have to be, Jesus is perfect, and His righteousness is the only one we should rely on and look to. He is only reason we are able to have a relationship with God. God continues to work out our lives every day. So give yourself grace, because God does.
Confess, Seek Advice, Pray, Read Scripture, Fast, and God will hear all your cries.
"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you"-James 4:8
"I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world"-John 16:33
Whoa dude. Thank you for being vulnerable and open - I know that's what God is tweaking in me. It's easy to put myself on a guilt trip and get overwhelmed by all the stuff I take on because I feel like a have to "do it all". But I cannot allow my lists of spiritual and mundane tasks diminish the time I spend with God in His Word and in prayer. Neglecting to wake up with God being forefront in my mind affects my day in every way - God deserves my EVERY effort... so what does that look like for me? I struggle to make it personal and tend to diagnose everyone else in my mind, then apply the truth to myself. I must take every though captive and constantly use the Word to tear the devil's kingdom down - our God is always victorious :)
ReplyDelete"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you"-James 4:8
Girl, keep doing what you're doing. This blog is the bomb, for real. It's encouraging to see godly sisters reaching out and using the internet as a tool for the Lord!!!
Love your sister in the ATL,
Dena
Thank u for your kind words!!
ReplyDelete