So these past few days have been a roller coaster for me... As far as blogging goes. For some reason I found myself going at a pretty comfy speed to 100+ in a matter of a few days. I have been learning so much, seeing so much, reading so much, corresponding, email, creating, thinking, etc.... And I'm not going to lie, today was the day it finally kinda of took a toll on me and I needed to think about again why I blog... who I blog for... and what is most important.
I first off wanted to start a blog a while back... A few years back. It wasn't the right time. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to blog about... I didn't have the equipment nor the confidence to do so. I'm glad I held off, because God came in and rocked my world. I became a new creation in Christ and suddenly I felt the nudge to start a blog. After prayer, advice, and a few changes I set out on this journey, not knowing ANYTHING about ANYTHING. lol. (I still have tons to learn)...
The first post was a success and as days turned into weeks and weeks turn into months... I started to see it growing and best of all, I started to receive feedback from readers that I never imagined. All of it so positive and so encouraging to read how I was helping other women with my life, my story, my convictions, etc. Even men would tell me they read my blog. I would chuckle a bit inside, but it made me feel like my story mattered.
My prayer for my blog has always been to point the reader back to God, and that doesn't mean that everything I post has to be "spiritual". I think we have also limited on what "spiritual" means. God has given me so many stories, talents, joy's, and beauty to share with you all and it is a desire in my heart to do that. I feel connect with God when I am open and transparent.
When I took a break for about 2 weeks from my blog, I saw my faith starting to suffer a bit. This was my spiritual outlet, my creative outlet, my calling to share and be open with you all... and when I don't do that, it takes a toll.
God has blessed me and has continued to bless me with this blog. I can't wait to share with you all soon the big news, but I still have to keep it under wraps because "we" are still at the drawing board right now. All I can say is that today has taught me that no matter how good and much of a blessing this blog is, it can become an idol, just like anything good; families, friends, entertainment, etc. There is such thing as too much of a good thing.
I never want my blog to come in the way of God's and I's relationship. I think today really made me check that. All of this could be taken away in an instant, but no one can take away my relationship with God... So that needs to be the first thing I invest in.
I long to know Christ more... To know Him more as my Friend and as my Abba... not just 'God'. I want to be more excited about spending time with Jesus than I am about getting to do a new blog post, take pictures, or etc. Even though I know it gives God glory to enjoy the blessings He's given me, it should never hinder US.
"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities." Luke 16:10
With these new endeavors, new chapters, and new friends will come a newfound discipline, consistency, love, boundaries, and humility in order to be a good steward of the things God has given me, to not spread myself to thin, and to always check what fruits I am leaving behind, good or bad? If I ever have anything in my life that produces bad fruit, I'm cutting off that branch. If I stay rooted in the vine God will watch over and protect the very things that He wanted me to have in the first place.